Monday 22 November 2010

Nana

Nana

My nana has not been well for quite some time now, she developed dementia several years ago and she has not been the same woman since.
The nana I remember was patient, independent, generous and so many other things. Word cannot justify what type of woman she was or what she means to me. I stayed with my right up until I was 18 because I enjoyed her company and pratically lived out of her pocket. At the moment I don't see her as often as I should because I want to perserve all the memories I have of her and don't want them tainted because the woman I see now isnt or how my nana should be and it kills me inside knowing she deserves better than how life has turned out for her.
Since getting the news of how unwell my nana is, its been heartbreaking and I feel like im waiting for that dreaded phonecall or knock at the door. I have kidded myself for so long thinking that the day will never come and I selfishly never want it to happen.

Wednesday 20 October 2010

Let's talk about Autism.....

My son William Thomas was diagnosed with been on the autistic spectrum and global delayment at 19/20 months. He is 21 months now so the news is still quite raw to myself and family.
My mam had brought up the subject quite a few months before and I retorted with the 'his too young' and refused to acknowledge this possibility even though the signs were there and my husband was just as adament in not believing this.
At 18 months and still no progress on the standing alone, or walking along the furniture I did think how long can I bury my head in the sand and keep saying he will get there. I had always thought William was unique but never quite knew why, I would quite often say he was one of a kind!
Some of the issues we were having with William I kind of blamed myself for, like the weaning issues we had, food has always been a major problem and it still is, the not walking or learning new words despite going over the same words over and over again and trying at least 2 new foods with him every week. I felt like I was sinking and there was nothing else I could do apart from keep doing what I already was even though I knew it wasn't working.
One day I looked up the signs of autism in babies/toddlers and the amount of things I had not even thought were a sign of autism William does, and had been doing for a very young age and he had a lot of signs, when reading a light came on and I knew it wasn't me failing, William had autism. I admit I did break down and I cried alot that day, I tried to approach the subject again with my husband and once reading the website he felt the same way there was too many things for it not to be looked into, he was also very upset. I think it was more the realisation.
I arranged a home visit with my health visitor and wrote a list of all the things we were concerned about, when she came out she referred him straight to a peadtrician to assess him further we knew now that this was quite serious.
The peadtrician appointment came around slowly and after going through Williams short history and reading what I wrote down for our concerns she concluded that he was on the autistic spectrum and had global delayment. I did feel relieved that we were now going to get the help and support to be able to teach him new things as what we were already doing was not helping William and we were feeling lost. The peadtrician referred William to a dietician, Specialist speech therapy and a peadtrician who specialises in autism, she also wants him to get a early nursery place.
We both felt positive after this as William is still young and will be getting plently of support both from specialists and us. We still have days when the autism is quite apparent and we do get upset, for example we couldn't take him to a birthday party as he got so distressed. Both me and my husband have felt the tension and frusteration through this process as we had no idea, William is our first baby and we didnt know that anything was 'different' until quite late on.
William is our child and regardless of the autism we will always love him so much, he brings us so many happy moments and normally has us laughing with his expressions that he pulls now!
Heres our precious boy:

Friday 15 October 2010

My 2nd Pregnancy!

My 2nd pregnancy was quite shock, I had moaned on to my husband about how I wanted another baby but I don't think I was really 100% certain, I knew I wanted another baby but not quite sure when. I had quite conflicting thoughts about it how would I cope, is it the right time, how will William cope, do we have enough money and many more.
As soon as I took the test I knew it would be positive, I don't know what made me take it as I was on the on the pill at the time but I just knew. My instant reaction was excitement but when met with my husband's more 'im pleased but....' attitude I wasn't so certain how I felt anymore.
With the constant morning sickness and waiting to see how many weeks I was both me and Greg just got on with it the best we could. I felt like I went on autopilot, I bought a few things just like I did when pregnant with William but worry was always in the back of my mind. We did not have a easy time with pregnancies, we lost 4 pregnancies before William so we are anxious to say the least.
When we finally got the scan on the 22nd Sept it was confirmation I needed the baby was growing, beating heart and it felt real! I was 11 weeks and 2 days and got booked in my ammniocentsis on the 28th October just 2 weeks away now! I will be 15 weeks on Monday and I can't believe how well everything is going. Heres for a healthy pregnancy and baby!
Our little bean:

My First Ever Blog!

Hi to anyone who read's this!
My reason for starting this blog is really just for me to kinda have a release and post my thoughts.
My name is Natasha and I am 25 and a mother to my wonderful son William Thomas and a wife to my gorgeous husband Greg Thomas. I am a stay at home mother and a homemaker and I do take great pride in this, which others may find strange but to me it's the greatest job in the world, even though I find myself moaning on a bad day there's got to be more to life but I guess we all have days like that. I have now realised this is NORMAL and we all get fed up at times and it does not mean we regret the decisions we have made.
This is a picture of my family, in April my family will be extended to another pitter patter of tiny feet!